I’ve always loved larger than life characters. I would read books and watch movies all the time, but my true obsession was pro wrestling (still is to a point). All sorts of characters, your superheros like Hogan or Cena, business suit wearing rich bad guys like Flair or DiBiase, the crazy brawlers like Brody or Foley, and the Supernatural like Undertaker.
I couldn’t get enough of it, it was like a live action cartoon. Somewhere around the age of 10 or so I decided I wanted to be a pro wrestler when I grew up. Most dismissed it as a silly kid dream, but nobody says I want to work in a call center when I grow up. No offense to those including myself who do.
So I turned 18 in May of 2000 and a few weeks later I graduated high school. There was a local wrestling school about a quarter mile from the movie theater I was working at. About a week after graduation I went to the school and signed up to start my training to become a pro wrestler. Three months later the dream came true. I had my first match wrestling under the name Drake Streetz. Three months after that it was over.
I had a new job, but I couldn’t afford the cost of training and my knees were starting to bother me. There are other excuses, but the point is I quit and walked away. Looking back almost 20 years later, I may have thrown in the towel too soon. Who knows what might have happened if I stuck with it? You might be paying $9.99 to watch me on the WWE Network. So yeah I gave up on that particular dream, more importantly though I went for it. I still follow wrestling on TV and I’m involved in some wrestling related things like the Facebook group Wrestling Empire, but that childhood dream wasn’t my calling.
When I was a teenager I had another passion, that passion was writing. It started as angsty poetry and evolved into fan fiction than short stories. I loved reading and watching movies and dreamed of writing books, screenplays and/or even a TV series. I was constantly writing down ideas but couldn’t motivate myself to follow through. Once over the course of a week I wrote an outline for a six season arc for a dramatic TV series. I then put that notebook on a shelf to sit.
Over time as I aged as an adult I kind of grew bitter about my childhood dreams. In my early 30s I was already considering myself past my prime. A guy stuck at a desk job considered a failure by that childhood dreamer. My bitterness grew and it effected my marriage and was one of the causes that would lead to the separation from my wife.
I loved my family but a darkness grew within. Other personal issues added on to that and evolved into another depression. At this time I was starting to dive deep into my faith walk, but still didn’t know what I had gotten myself into. On Sundays I was “blessed by the best”, but during the week I was a hot mess when no one was looking.
I would go through the motions at work, at home I’d spend as much time as I could with the kids. My marriage was in shambles and after the kids went to sleep most nights I was all alone. The dreams were gone, I was in nightmare territory.
I knew I was in a bad place and dove deeper into my faith. I prayed more and I started reading the Bible every day, I admit I don’t do this as much I should, but like I’ve said before I’m still a work in progress. I had just started taking online classes at Christian Leader’s Institute and I was soaking up all the knowledge I could.
At the end of April 2017 I moved back in with my parents. In my mind I had hit rock bottom, but was afraid to say so as that is usually when the bottom drops out. I openly questioned God. I knew it was all part of His plan, but what is the plan and where’s all this heading? Wouldn’t we like to know..? It’s his timing not ours.
I had been getting the itch to write again. I wrote a few ideas, concepts, and short stories but nothing came of it. I had a good writing support group, fellow writer/bloggers M. L. English, E. James Landry and Deanna. It’s just what I was writing wasn’t right. Then I thought about blogging, I had considered it before but wasn’t sure how to go about it, then it all started to fall into place. To steal a catch phrase, my time is now.
As I started to think about blogging other things started to open up in my mind. I realized that my dream of being a writer wasn’t dead, I wasn’t past my prime I was just getting started. Dream a little dream became dream big and take a leap of faith. I had to look beyond my dream and open my eyes to God’s Vision. This isn’t just a blog, it a stepping stone leading to the foundation of greater things.
Writing last week’s blog I had some hurdles because I lost focus, but once I regained that focus a bigger vision came to me. All sorts of ideas started to form about evolving this blog to reach people in all different places in their life and letting them know the dream is not over. You’ll be seeing some of those ideas in the near future.
As I write this blog I know that it even goes beyond this, beyond the dream of my younger days. There will be books, maybe even screenplays, movies and TV. That childrens book series isn’t forgotten, one day everyone will know about Ian and what makes his goldfish friend so special. I’m still struggling internally with lots of things but the dream is alive.